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Thursday, 15 October 2009

  • 90,000 miles

    Do you ever wonder?

     

    A friend asked me that a while back, and to answer that question, "Of course, I wonder."

    I wonder about a lot of things. One thing in particular struck me as interesting.

     

    My car just recently turned over to 90,000 miles. Mind you, I've had Lena, that's her name, for 2.5 years and when I purchased her from my parents, she'd already seen 60,000 miles of pavement, blocks of offices, shopping centers, factories, and amusement venues.  She'd already seen Chicago, Milwaukee, Madison, Minnesota, Michigan, and all the cities in between. 

     

    Originally, she was a practical purchase. Being a compact car and a GM product, the price was right and the gas mileage was primo.  A great car for business travel. Though not exceedingly roomy she's comfortable and seemed to fit the bill of what my dad was looking for.  That sweet satisfaction that comes when a family gets a new car lasted a short time as my dad's 2 hours trips turned into 8 hour trips, multiple times in any given week.  A car that size does not exactly invite you to a luxury cruise. 

     

    Sooner, rather than later, my parents began talking about trading the Cavalier in for a more comfortable car suitable for a family of four and a business traveler.  Being 18 and almost ready to head off to college my ears perked up. 

     

    It took two more years for my parents to make the final call that they were going to sell the car. Great timing!  It was the summer after  my sophomore year of college when I went to my parents and expressed my need for a personal mode of transportation suitable in all weather.  I'd had a couple babysitting jobs and tutoring positions off Cornerstone's campus and had been blessed to borrow random cars from some dear friends.  In the coming semesters I would have two internships and perhaps more babysitting opportunities. It would no longer suit to frantically text my friends at seven in the morning begging to use their vehicle to get to school. 

     

    After many a discussion, and 222 hours of work, I purchased the 2001 Red Cavalier from my mom and dad.  Soon after she became mine, and I discovered her personality, squeaky, I named her Lena.  Lena Lamont is a character in Singing In The Rain who plays the leading lady in one of the first "talking pictures" titled The Dueling Cavaliers.  Lamont was known around her studio to have a high pitched voice that left all ears ringing. Thus, the squeaky hub caps, the model Cavalier, the spunky color red, my car's name just had to be Lena.

     

    Lena and I have now crossed more than 30,000 miles of earth together.  Sometimes with other pleasant company. The tall ones are my favorite….to see them scrunch their knees into their chest as they relinquish their right to breath due to the close quarters, is quite a sight.  She's heard many conversations, often one sided when my cell phone is attached to my ear.  Boy oh boy, if CARS could talk…I can not begin to imagine what she might say, nor the voice in which she'd say it.  Perhaps, she heard, and seen, and smelled, many of my more vulnerable moments. Days when I'm sick of people, sick of working hard, sick of being an emotional hormonal female, or just plain sick…she gets the brunt of it. Days when I think I'm the best driver in the world and everyone else is a moron…she hears the many "nicknames" I've chosen for perfect strangers.

     

    She heard me the night I got in my first fight with my boyfriend. She soaked up many of my tears when my best friend and I were on the outs. She took beatings when I hit curb after curb because I was 1) not a seasoned driver 2) when I was parking the day after I got my license and dad told me to break as I pulled into an empty space at Culvers…Unfortunately, my foot had a mind of its own and pressed hard on the gas instead, sending my dad, Lena, and I over a curb. We sat and cried and laughed while we straddled the curb, one wheel in the parking space, one wheel on the sidewalk. 3) When I didn't check my blind spot as I started to merge from 131 to 96 and smacked into a poor old lady.

     

    Lena has taken me back and forth to Green Bay countless times with friends, with family, with acquaintances. She's seen the big city full of sky scrapers, and backwoods country towns with cornfields and rolling hills for miles. 

     

    Lena took me to Sheboygan for visits and the wedding of a dear friend.  To Milwaukee to go shopping and to the Cheesecake Factory (yum-o). To Flushing, MI to visit my grandpa's grave for the first time, to visit my Grandma Scully, and my mom, dad and brother.  To Lansing for a Death Cab for Cutie Concert with Melissa. To IWU many times for excursions with my family, Melissa and Liz included. To Michigan City to catch the train into Chicago.  To my favorite stop, the Lake Forest Oasis, between Chicago and Milwaukee.  To Muskegon to see my brother sing with Chorale. To Holand for a very pink wedding. Back and forth to Lowell, packed with 4-5 people.  It seems, that Lena's been far and near, to familiar that the obscure. 

     

    Ceratinly there are trips not mentioned, perhaps forgotten by my faded memory, perhaps left out due to their personal nature.

     

     

    Oh the Places You Will Go....30,000 miles, 10 oil changes, 2 sets of tires, 6 sets of wiper blades, and 85+ tanks of gas.

     

    I found this quote yesterday in Criss Cross by Lynnae Rae Perkins. It's an adolescent novel about finding joy in the ordinary.  I highly recommend it.

               " I think that it's a good thing to get out of your usual, you know, surroundings.       Becasue you find things out about yourself that you didn't know, or your forgot.  And then you go back to your regular life and you're changed, you're a little bit different becasue you take those new things with you. Like a Hindu, except all in one life; you sort of get reincarnated depending on what happened and what you figure out. And any one place can make your go forward, or backward, or neither, but gradually you find all your pieces, and they stay with you, so that you're your whole self no matter where you go."

Wednesday, 23 September 2009

  • I've got sunshine on a cloudy day.

     

      Something happened this week. I suddenly felt smart. Not that I've never experienced this but, the past few months my brain has been on autopilot. Get up, shower, brush teeth, go to school, come home, yada yada yada.  Something was missing….a challenge.

       

      Now, don't get me wrong, student teaching is one huge undertaking and I am challenged everyday, but I needed something that got my brain synapses firing.

       

      Melissa and I decided to go see a movie called Adam. Now, if you want something that will make your heart pound, go see this movie. It's artistic, inspiring, encouraging, and a bit more realistic than your average movie theatre attraction.

       

      Since Sunday my brain has been on overdrive…in a good way.  Monday night was the kickoff night of a new college group at Impact. It was so great, 15 people showed up, we had good conversation, great music, and went out afterward just for the sake of hanging out.

      We talked about purpose. I was challenged by the people who spoke out saying they were content with where they were. Now, I don't know what you know or think about "young 20-somethings" but we're not all that content. We're job searching, moving up and out, wanting the next best thing, yearning to move to the next stage in life, all the while missing the NOW that we have.

       

      Something else I've been so thankful for has been new friends. I've had the privilege of hanging out with some amazing people the last couple weeks, some I've known for a couple years but never got to delve beyond "how are you? I like your new shoes." kind of conversations.  My imagination has been sparked as I've  begun to develop friendships with different people. Breaking away from the Cornerstone bubble,  has been refreshing.

       

      I must cover that last statement but adding that I sincerely love Cornerstone. I am there at least twice a week not just because I need to attend meetings and such, but because I love to be on campus to see what's going on, to talk with people at random intervals, to sit in the Corum and people watch.

       

      Anywho…Living in a new environment, being challenged by the people I live with; working at a different school, being challenged by my students, cooperating teachers, and colleagues; being involved in various ministries through church, being challenged by mentors and peers, has allowed me to be stretched, and to grow in ways unimaginable..until now.

       

      My dreams have been stretched yet molded a bit more. I am happy to live without knowing what's ahead.

       

      To add to a list a friend of mine started…things that make me happy/thanks I’m thankful for.

    1. My family coming to take me out to dinner
    2. Phone calls from my brother (hint hint Davy)
    3. Left over cheddar and sour cream chips
    4. From the Mixed Up Files of Mrs.Basil E. Frankweiler by E.L. Koningsburg
    5. 7th and 8th graders who call me Ms. Chinn
    6. Artistic architecture
    7. Being hyper
    8. Cornerstone
      • Sitting in the Corum and striking up random conversations that turn into hour long discussions
      • 25 meals via my commuter status

       

       

       

Saturday, 10 January 2009

  • Sawatdii Kha

     

    It is indeed fun to be able to look back on the day, think about the things I did and who I spent time with and be able to smile.

     

    While I was home, it was wonderful to spend time with my mom, dad and brother. I was privileged to visit with two wonderful friends, Andy and Nate, a couple times during my weeks in Green Bay. However, my desire has been for the unfamiliar. I've been craving excitement, change, newness, and adventure. 

     

    Since I've been back at Cornerstone, it's been good to spend time with 3 of 4 of my wonderful housemates, though our time has been limited, it's been good…an interesting transition from near solitude, but good just the same.

     

    The highlight however, has been my students at Forest Hills Northern High.  I've had the privilege of working in the ESL classroom for the past week and will continue to work with these students throughout the semester.  Let me brag on them for a bit….over half of these students have been in the United States for less than a year and are working very diligently to learn and understand English. 

     

    I've come away from school each day this week thankful that I've been given this opportunity.  Going into the interview with my cooperating teacher I was dreading the experience but knew that I needed to fulfill this 6 credit practicum in order to become a certified teacher. I put my best foot forward, put on a happy face and prepared to wow the teacher with charm and free classroom help.  Little did I know that I would be put in a classroom with some of the most lovable students I've ever met. 

     

    Each day I look forward to going to school. While it is a drag to get up early and have to dress up for work, any angst of the early morning is washed away upon entering Mrs. VanderVeen's classroom. The students, some looking as tired as I feel, greet me with a  "Goo- morning Miss Hei-di." 

     

    It is refreshing to be with high school students who are eager to learn, and unafraid to ask questions. They are so ready to move on in their workbooks and text books. They enjoy reviewing and are excited to shout out answers, even if they are incorrect.  They dance and sing and shout out random American idioms and catch phrases as they learn them.  One student loves the ghetto phrase "my bad" and tells all three of us teacher multiple times "You right, my bad!" as a grin spreads across his face.

     

    I already feel accepted and completely integrated into this lifestyle of "teacher."  The students and my colleagues/mentors have welcomed me in such a way that after even four days I feel as though I belong.  I am confident when the students as me questions. If I'm unsure of the correct answer I try to help them find what they are looking for.

     

    Though it's been somewhat difficult learning how to be part of a circle of friends, and it will continue to be a process, this feeling of confidence is washing over some of my insecurities and is giving me a feeling of purpose and belonging.

     

    It's true when you read that one learns best by teaching…perhaps not because you are teaching the material but because those you are teaching are granting you more knowledge and wisdom through the experience...

Wednesday, 12 November 2008

  • Dead end writing

    While brainstorming ideas for a paper my brain vomitted this...not quite long enough to fulfill the requirements of the paper but...fun thoughts I wanted to share.

    For 5 days I'd been waking up to spend time on the beach as the sun came up over Lake Huron.  Each morning different, I enjoyed reading, walking and praying on the beach as I awaited the bright game of peak-a-boo to be played with the horizon.

     

    I woke up one morning and things were different. The sky was overcast. Clouds riddled the air above and covered any supposed light shared by the rising sun.  Light rain floated from the clouds and landed on the beach whereupon I stood. 

     

    The lake remained calm yet had a stirring look in its eyes.

     

    The hotel stood tall 100 yards behind me, beckoning me with it's dry warmth but something held me there. The wet sand engulfed my toes as I watched the dark clouds rolling by.  The rain began to pound, no longer a refreshing whisper, it became a thunderous applause as it hit the water's surface. The water began to pitch to and fro enticing me into its depths.

     

    Standing in awe of this torrent I contemplated the plunge. Fully clothed, a solitary being, I fought the urge for several minutes when suddenly my will power was overcome by spontaneity.  As free spirited as I could be, I dashed into the sloshing water, submerged and sprung to the surface only to feel the rain water cascading over my head as the waved continued to crash into my shoulders.

     

    Waves saturated with joy and defiance rushed over me.  My mom had not explicitly said "No" but had not encouraged my dive into the deep, fully clothed in torrential rain.  I felt free.  For the first and perhaps one of the last times, I felt fulfilled. I no longer felt the nagging loneliness that tugs at each of us.  The waves and rain drops became my companions.  All week long I had longed to be with my "love."  My family, God, games and movies - none would fill the void.  But the waves. 

     

    In tuned with creation, with the way God made me to be part of his world, I rejoiced.  It was a "coming of age moment."  Defying my mom's wishes, I chose my own path. No injury or pain sustained from such action, I smiled at my decision.

Friday, 19 September 2008

windowgirl09

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    • Name: Heidi
    • Birthday: 9/26/1986
    • Gender: Female
    • Member Since: 8/31/2005

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  • I go to Cornerstone University! Basically, I love music, movies, chillin' with buds, and playing on my laptop. My family is far away and i miss them lots and lots...umm that's bout it!!! God is good all the time!!!

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